Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
