My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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