I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well I just put wine in my tea
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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