I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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