No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's the barista slut.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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