drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
