Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
