Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you never un-have a 4some
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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