is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
