I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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