So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
