he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I love how my cats smell like pot.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
