Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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