my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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