For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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