Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
