evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
