so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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