Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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