so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
try to milk me bitch
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