I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
