I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
