Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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