Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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