All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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