Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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