i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
