I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize