hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
