smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
