you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
