My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
