please come you make the beer taste better
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
