just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
