Barsexuality is the new black.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
