just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
my liver is dry heaving
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
