My room smells like vodka and shame
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
