Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
