he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
