just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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