Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
