Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

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(315): View more from New York

It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"

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(805): View more from California

I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship

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(352): View more from Florida

So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread

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