We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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