I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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