Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
pop tarts are not kleenex
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
