last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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