And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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