I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize