am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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