his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
