Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
