We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
