no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
