i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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