i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
