Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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