we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
