Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
